Hunting & Fishing
I have a friend who is way, way, way better at hunting and fishing than me. In fact, “way, way, way” is a gross understatement. On her trips to Africa to hunt big game, many times she brings down the animals from the window before the plane even begins its descent. This got her banned from South African Airways, so she got a private jet. It’s the only plane I’ve seen where you can actually roll down the windows. Her taxidermist is one of the best-dressed women in town. In fact, the revenue my friend brings in by hunting and fishing is so essential to her hometown that her trips are subsidized by the state government. When you walk into her home, there are no walls to be seen. The walls are so covered in deer, cheetah, bear, antelope, lion, polar bear, and tiger mounts that you can’t even see them. One day I asked her about the secret to her success. We were ice fishing in Montana and I was sadly polishing my rod handle while she smiled at the sixty-three walleyes in her coolers. When I asked her what the secret to her success was, she laughed. “That’s easy,” she said. “Get the right equipment, and the bucks and walleyes will come to you.” She put her hand on my shoulder in a motherly way and pointed to the hole in the ice into which my tears were falling. “Honey, this world is full of fish just waiting around to be caught and trophy animals lining up to decorate your wall. If only there was a way to get all the gear you need with one convenient click…” she paused, as though lost in thought. Then she remembered. “Wait! There is! 911water.com carries everything you need to welcome those antelope home with loving arms.” I must’ve looked confused because she quickly said, “Arms. Loving arms. As in my Holland and Holland deluxe double rifle inlaid with mother of pearl.” She gave me a strange look and shook her head slowly before turning back to her rod. I looked up 911water.com and discovered she wasn’t bluffing. At least not this time. Sure enough they carry bait management, downriggers, filet tables, fishing and hunting accessories, ice augers, kite fishing, nets and gaffs, outriggers, reels, rod and reel storage, rod holders, tackle storage, tools, and trail cameras.